V - is for VICTORY

I do not really have a morning routine, but this morning I went through the motions of what should be my routine. Woke up at 6...stayed in bed, squeezing my eyes shut trying to glean another hour of sleep before getting up...then realizing that intensely squeezing my eyes shut would not relax me into some deaf peaceful slumber, so I awkwardly rolled out of bed, trying to act like a zombie - hoping that once I was upright, my body would remember that it is tired and then I would be able to go back to sleep. ::sigh:: once I was up, my body was wide awake, so I shot-putted any ideas I'd harbored towards getting more sleep. My dreams were not really good anyway, I reasoned to myself, so why would I want to return to them? I love the early morning, please do not get me wrong. It is my favorite part of the day and I usually relish those times when I am so fortunate as to wake before the sun. But I must confess that it is so much more pleasant when you can look outside your window, or step out your door and see that everything is nestled in a blanket of myst and fog, and hear the twitterings of birds who seem to know that most people are still asleep and so they are using their inside voices.
After standing up off my bed, I did the things which should be normal for me - stretching, lifting a few weights (my boss, Sam,. asked me where all my muscle had gone after pinching my sadly deteriorated triceps...my physical strength is something I have held so much pride in my whole life, and now even my reserves are depleted). Then I went into the kitchen and made a short smoothie and some oatmeal, which I ate in the kitchen while listening to one of Chopin 's Nocturnes on NPR. I sat there, thinking about my life and revisiting recent events because I have to chew on the cud of everything that I experience. With every bite of oatmeal, my thoughts turned to a new subject or event, and I would chew my oatmeal in symbolic interaction with my thoughts. I thought about the books that I have to buy for school, then took another bite and thought about my trip to Knoxville. How Christa and I spent most of the time, while there, just us two. At one point, we were sitting on a porch swing just outside the apartment that we were staying in, and she look at me and said, 'Just think, Deanna, if I weren't here right now, you'd be alone'. I thought about my life recently, and I replied, 'Well, Christa, I do everything alone. I am by myself all of the time. I go to work by myself, eat by myself, live by myself. It does not phase me...anymore. But I am glad of your company' and I smiled because it was pleasant just sitting there with her. After pondering these things, I shrugged, I guess to myself, and was finished eating. I washed my dishes and finished reading my current book Flesh and Bone written and about a forensic anthropologist who works at the Body Farm and teaches at The University of Tennessee in Knoxville. I sat Indian-Style on my "couch" with my computer on my lap while I check emails and do silly other things, such as update my blog. I should be cleaning my apt. but I will do that in a little while. I used my new vacuum yesterday and it works like a champ! It has such sucking-power that it almost ate my heavy-duty rug that covers my living-room floor. Have no fear, for I saved the rug just in time by turning the vacuum and coming at it from a different direction that did not go against the grain. As I checked my facebook, I saw that i had an email, so I clicked on it and saw that it was from one of my old friends and co-workers from New Frontiers - Sarah Wilson. Seeing her name brought back such amazing memories, and I sat there for a moment in pure joy just thinking about it all. [New Frontiers' Staffers: Cindy, Rache, & Brittany]
One particular memory strikes me every time I see her face. I had been working at NF for a few weeks, and word had it that Sarah Wilson was returning after being in Africa (or somewhere like that) for a few months. Everyone who had met her was extremely excited and it was contageous so I caught the Excititis. There was always such joy and acceptance while I worked there, that we got excited about the smallest things, such as Larry finally getting enough money to purchase new ropes for our climbing wall! We all marveled at the bounce of the new ropes and spent an hour just checking out all attributes of these shiny new ropes! Christmas day! So Sarah came and we had a cook-out. It was still light outside and we were all playing some kind of football in the front lawn, and I noticed that she was inside doing the dishes with Candy. She had just met me that day, and I was feeling quite mischievous, so I ducked out of sight of her window, and crouched as I made my way up to the window of the trailer's kitchen where she was washing dishes. I looked out onto the lawn and caught the eyes of a few of my co-workers - Patrick, Alex, Racheal, and Larry - and I put a finger up to my lips to signal silence from them. They all lowered their voices, but kept tossing the football around. We were all snickering because they knew what I was about to do, and, as i said, we were all so happy most of the time that we would laugh at just about anything regardless. I puckered my lips and whistled a cat-call whistle up to the window. I heard Sarah stop what she was doing and I figured she was trying to see who it was and what was going on. I whistled again, this time louder than before. She asked who was there, while trying not to laugh through her teeth. "Alex? Is that you?" and then she saw Alex out on the lawn. I whistled again. "Who's there?!?" she asked while laughing. Then I saw everyone's eyes widen and SPLASH! I was wet! Sarah had poured a bowl of warm soapy water on me from the window! I ran out of my alcove and shook like a dog, laughing as I ran. "DEE! IT WAS YOU!" she said and we all laughed.
I remembered another time when we had a group of highschool church campers that I was assigned to work with. This group was particularly difficult because they did not want to get dirty and then during debriefing our activities, they acted like they already knew everything. These groups are mostly challenging because we have to come up with new strategies on how to work with them, and how to present something that is deeper than the mundane bible stories that have been drilled into their heads since birth. It always saddened us to see such young people already numbed and bored of something so precious. So we devised ways to keep them on their toes and to jolt them about a bit, but all in fun. So we had just returned from caving - EVERYONE gets messy in the cave, especially just after a heavy rain when the mineral water drips 5 times more than usual. The girls had all complained through the entire 4 hours of caving, and once we were out all they could talk about was having showers (obviously they did not understand the value of mineral cave mud on the skin). So I told them that cave mud was great for the skin, with so many minerals and nutrients that the skin needs. They looked at me like I was crazy, so I decided that they were not getting showers that night ::smiles:: I spoke to one of my co-workers and he agreed with me, so I then gathered all the boys of the group together. "Would you all mind if you just took showers from a bucket tonight?" I asked. Then I explained my plan - I was going to turn off all the water to the bathrooms, but I would have four 5gal buckets of hot water in the boys' bathroom so they could wash up. Then I wanted them to go in and act like they were showering and talk loudly about how they were so glad to get all that mud off of them...really do it up BIG TIME! They all got extremely excited and began trying not to laugh. So I sent 4 of them to fill up their buckets and the rest of them got ready to take 'showers', while I turned off the water source to the restrooms. I then went and sat by the fire just outside and waited to see what happened. The girls began screaming when their water did not turn on, and they marched themselves outside. When they heard the boys having a great time, the girls began making plans to shang-high the boys bathroom because they had water, apparently! One by one the guys came out wet and clean and happy, while the dirty girls looked on in disbelief! I stood there stoking the fire and getting it ready for Hobo dinners that they would be eating later, and trying not to laugh. One of the girls spotted me, and strode hurridly over to me in a panic and informed me of the serious situation and could I see if I could get the water running? I looked at my co-worker, and gave him the fire-poker, and then mosied off to find the water valve. After looking at it in the dark with the dimmest flashlight I could find, I announced that we would have to check it out in the morning when there is more light, and then I looked at my watch and said, 'Well, your shower time is up so you'll just have to eat in muddy clothes tonight'. I shrugged and then motioned to them to follow me to Victory Hall where we were going to make dinner. I knew that this was the key to the door of breaking down their walls, because they were taken out of their comfort zone. For them, not being able to take showers was WAY out of their comfort zone. Usually when we make Hobo Dinners, we walk around and squirt sanitizer into their hands as they finish handling the raw meat, but this time we let them, two at a time, go to the hose on the side of the building and wash their hands and faces. For the rest of their trip, we told them that they were not allowed to complain. If they did, there would be consequences that one of our staff would administer, and it would be different every time. The consequences, after a few tries of complaining, were things like - we would take them on a run through the mountains and then do jumping jacks or something like that until they were worn out. They were there for one week, and they learned so much. The entire trip they ate like famished wolves, and ate everything set before them (we fed them as much as they could eat and 3 times a day), did everything without complaining, learned to focus on others instead of themselves, slept outside, and relished each time they took showers. No longer did they roll their eyes when we sat down to debrief, but they participated and with interest.
Me and the other staffers were constantly playing pranks on each other, and constantly smiling and laughing. I was known for my pranks, and known for taking them in return with both boots on. One time a camper came up to me and asked, 'So, don't you guys ever get tired of being happy?' I thought about it, and realized I had never really thought about that before. 'No' I said finally, 'Because true inner joy just shines. It is not a conscious decision to show joy, and it takes no voluntary effort. It gives both strength and rest, and does not tire.' He looked at me like I was insane...I used to get that a lot working there. Really, I still do get that, but I am so much calmer now. I do not think it is bad that I am calmer now...it is just different. But today, when I looked at photos on the New Frontiers' facebook page, tears welled up into my eyes as I looked at pictures of that old place and the people I miss and love so much. Beautiful memories that will stay with me forever, and I am so thankful that I have those memories to cherish. I hope that, in the future, I will have many more memories like that to cherish...

It is the second night of our stay in London (it was then, as I am home now. But pretend, for my sake, that you are me and I am the voice inside my/your head).
::eyes look up and see Holiday Inn Express scrolled out on a sign in yellow lettering. The last leg of this day's journey. I have Palak Peneer (sp?) in my hand with an order of Naan and some rice, and I can smell its sweet aroma slightly through the overpowering pungent odor of automobile exaust. I can feel mom close to me as we approach the automatic sliding doors of the hotel. We are in London, and the day is sunny and warm, but we are incredibly tired after rushing around trying to gobble up every sight our eyes could see! Our minds are weary after trying to figure out how this Underground system works. Fortunately we did not lose our way, but we had skipped two of my daily meals. C'est la vie, no? We woof down our food, and then realize that our bellies are too full. I blank out for a few moments, then jolt awake as I remember that I need to let everyone know that we made it safely! So I shake myself awake and discuss getting some internet time from somewhere so that I can update my blog. We decide that we are too tired to go to an internet cafe, so we buy some time here at the hotel. I trot on down and pay for the time, they give me a user-name and password and I trot back up to our room. I try to find the login....cannot find it. I search and search, but I come up dry every time. I inform mom that it is not working, and I call the information desk::
::Ring ring..then answer:: 'Hello, may I help you?' ::it is a deep voice, annunciating every syllable perfectly::
'Oh yes, Well, I was just down there and paid for some internet time. I have tried putting in the user-name and password, and it will not take it.'
'What won't take what where?' he replies, confusedly.
'Oh, well, my computer is not connecting to the internet because the user-name and password are not working.'
::I can feel his mind trying to make sense of what I am saying, and I hear his uneven breathing, so i save him the trouble of replying::
'Could I bring the computer down and you can tell me what I am doing wrong?'
'Yes, ma'am. I believe that would work best.'
::so I slide on down to the front desk and he walks me through the internet...mind you, he is calmly helping me connect to the internet while two girls (who are part of a pack of other scantily clad females, freely lounging on the sofas) are yelling at him to order them taxis, and he is on the phone with the taxi company, and his co-workers are asking him questions that they are confused about. I have heard of multi-tasking before, but this was insane! I look around and I see that many of the hotel guests are sitting in the dining room enjoying the spectacle. But he was so calm and yet firm through it all, and got everything done quite quickly and exact! I asked him twice if he wanted me to come back another time, and he calmly looked at me and said, 'no no, you are fine'. I did not know that there were people in this world who could truly do what I saw him do. And it seemed as though he does it all the time. He is a very good man for that job, and I wish I could applaud him. So here is my tribute to his remaining sane in an insane world! His actions encouraged me that I can do that someday::

We bought 4 hours of internet time, but our computer only had 3. So I checked my email, hurriedly, and made a blog post, uploaded all of the photos we had taken (from both cameras) up to that point, and then handed the internet and computer over to mom. That night we slept like bumps on logs, and the next day was sunny and warm.

We are home...

We are now back in Nashville, Tennessee...tired and bedraggled, but home just as well. We saw so much that we are still still trying to process everything. I think it will take a while, partially because mom and I are, well, I have really bad allergies and can barely breathe, and mom has a headache. Other than that we are able to laugh and remember good times and the time that we spent getting closer. It meant a lot to me, and the pictures of our trip are still flashing through my mind ::smiles:: This is the Thames River. So much history here...the Romans used this river and they thought it was great fun because the river bulges twice a day, so they would get a free ride down the river, and then another free ride on their return trip later that day! This is a shot from Blackfriar's bridge and that walk to the right of the photo is Jubilee Walkway.
We went to the Tower Of London (which is actually a series of towers in a sort of city-esque fortress with cobbled roads, grasses, gates and arches (one of which was called Bloody Gate), dungeons, and, of course, The Beefeaters (which are really called Yeowmen. They both live at and guard the Tower).


so now we are home again. I will write more later...but I have to get ready for work...

LONDON, ENGLAND

Mom and I are now in London, England! Our plane arrived at Heathrow Airport, England one hour early, but we were still in odd states of mind and I felt a little sick (not having really eaten since dinner the day before). We picked up our spirits off the floor, however, and made it to our train - Heathrow district line - heading towards W. Kensington station. I am sure we both looked like stray kittens who've just been taken into a strange house and then dunked into a bathtub - confused and tired. It was only NOON!! So we popped our things into the hotel room and scurried down again to the street where we found ourselves engulfed by noisy busses and small aggressive autos, and shuffling people who walked anywhere they wanted to and dared the cars to hit them. Mom and I, after closely observing this behavior by the other pedestrians, adopted this method as well (and it works!). 

     We ended up buying some postcards (which we sent most of today...until we ran out of stamps) rode the train a bit, and then decided it was time to be done...and we slept.

The next day we decided to walk along the City walk and then over the London Bridge to Bankside (near Cheapside...which, as it turned out, was not so cheap). Along these walks we saw Trafalgar Square (I took mom's photos by the GINORMOUSE lions). We saw a bunch of people gathering around something in a courtyard just across the street from us and so we went over to check it out. It turned out to be some random dancers doing some random dancing...

      AND!!! I ACTUALLY stepped foot...both my feet...into the globe theatre! We stumbled upon St. Paul's cathedral (where a wedding was being held), walked across London bridge, walked down Cheapside, and went in and then out of the Tate Modern theater (to be revisited on a later date..I promise). We ate sandwiches from a TESCO on a lawn with tons of other people taking advantage of the beautiful day! 

          We are now nestled in our hotel room, ready for another night's sleep...

Tomorrow is Westminster Abbey!! 

 

Qui cherche, trouve!

Today is misty in the city.
The city is a place I never thought I would be. In fact, I used to promise myself I would never live in the city, and I felt nausea even thinking about it.
The fast pace that never lets you hear yourself think.
The fact that I have to wear shoes because walking barefoot on the pavement is just NOT done (for obvious reasons).
I shuddered to think of not being able to sense the changing seasons: the smells and sounds are different...I have almost always been able to smell the changing of the seasons - the changing of the guard of the earth. I could smell the rain in the air, though it was far away and could not be seen with the naked eye, and the curtain of rain that fell across the valley as I sat in a wooden chair on the porch. I would hear the migrations of the birds, and see the different flowers and plants. I used to see the very first buds of the season popping out. I would see the strange tulips and the shiny little buttercups bloom. There was an Evening Primrose vine that used to grow at the edge of the woods and our property. In the dead of summer our backyard was blanketed with Thistle and Queen Anne's Lace. There were these beautiful little flowers that only lasted one day, and their name slips my mind, but it takes them 2 weeks to prepare to bloom. Then, when they finally do, it is only for one night when the moon is bright, and then they fall asleep and never wake again. It amazes me that there are plants that struggle so hard to bloom...their life is built around one single night of glory, and a select few people are even able to witness this magic of their delicate little white petals burst open! And then they slowly fade away as the sun rises the next morning. It almost seems like a useless life...why do they exist if no one is able to enjoy them and they have such a difficult life only to die in the wake of the morning?
But here I am, in the city...the MIDDLE of the city...I live in the Center of Nashville. It is not a very large city, comparatively, and I try not to think about it too very much. As long as I can lay in my bed in the early morning and close my eyes and listen to the chatter and twitterings of the birds and squirrels outside my window, my heart is warmed and I am content. I have found that one can be happy where one is if one looks for the good and beautiful things that are all around them. The things that connect with their spirit - Je leur donnerai le meme coeur et je mettrai en vous un esperit nouveau! ~Luc 21.31.